Shade and Light
by Allekha
Summary: Clara is worried that there's something wrong with her new Yamask. Crying in the night can't be normal, right?


A/N: Written for cookinguptales for Trick or Treat 2015. Based off of some quite horrifying pokédex entries.

* * *

"I think I'll call you..." Clara stared down at her new Yamask, trying to decide on a _good_ name. She had grown past the point where she would have chosen something like 'ghosty' or 'masky' or something like that. "Shade!" That was a cool name, right?

Shade made a nodding motion – curling up on itself a little – and Clara beamed.

"Come on, let's go to the park, and you can meet your new friends!"

Shade floated just behind her as she left the Pokécenter and walked down the avenue to the nearby park. It looked a little strange in the bright day, but it didn't seem to mind the light. Clara shucked of her sandals as soon as they entered the park, then carried them across the grass to a large fountain. School was in session, so aside from a couple of little kids, they had most of the water to themselves.

Exploring Unova was a lot of fun, and there were so many different kinds of pokémon here! Clara had thought that Kanto was pretty big, and she still had a lot to see back home – but Unova was so new. When she had managed to score some ferry tickets, she could not resist the opportunity. So far she had been trying to take it slowly, and trying not to cling to things from home too much. Which was why she had only brought her two most favorite pokémon with her, along with the Tentacool she had caught during the ride that she had traded for Shade.

She let her other two pokémon out, an Omastar and a Pidgeot. "Shade, this is Ommy and this is Arc. Ommy, Arc, this is our new friend Shade!"

Ommy waved his tentacles; Arc cooed. Shade waved back. In less than a minute, Arc and Shade were chasing each other around above the grass. Ommy climbed into the fountain and didn't bother trying to join in the chasing, but he did lob bursts of water at them from time to time, mostly missing but occasionally hitting either one of them.

Clara smiled and watched them for a few minutes. When it was clear that none of them would be tiring of the game anytime soon, she reached into the water to pet Ommy on the head and then opened up her pokédex.

Well, apparently Shade wasn't an 'it'; according to her 'dex, Shade was male. Not that there seemed to be any difference between the male and female ones. Now, what did the 'dex have to say about the species...?

"Yamask: the spirit pokémon. These pokémon arose from the spirits of people interred in graves in past ages. Each retains memories of its former life."

...what the _heck_? Who _wrote_ these things? Ugh, she really had to get her 'dex changed to only tell her reliable information. This one made as much sense as claiming an Alakazam had an IQ of a thousand or whatever it was.

She spent the rest of the day with her three pokémon. Ommy climbed halfway into her lap at one point, even though he was _really_ too heavy now that he had evolved. "You weigh as much as I do," she chided, but she couldn't bring herself to shove him off all the way. By that point, Arc had tired out and was splashing in the fountain; Shade came over and kind of cuddled up to Clara. It was a weird feeling, as if she were being hugged by a shadow. Ghost pokémon were weird. At least Shade was kind of cute.

"Do you need to eat?" she asked him, wondering, and she guessed that the trilling noise he made was a yes. She dug some food out of her bag and held it out. He picked it up and stared at it; before she could ask what was wrong, Ommy demanded some food as well, and he always wanted to be hand-fed, and then she had to put some down for Arc to snatch up, and by the time she had looked over at Shade again the food was gone. Not that she was sure where his mouth was.

"Sorry," she said, reaching over to pet him on the head. He was solid enough for that, at least, even if the chill made her finger stiffen with cold in the summer heat. "I know it's not the greatest stuff. Usually I try to feed you guys better, but I'm not used to the different brands and everything over here. Once we get on the road, though, you can try my cooking, if you want."

~!~

Clara left town a couple of days later. She had picked up some better food, though Shade didn't seem to like it much more than the old stuff, and a few other supplies, and also chatted with local trainers in the Pokémon Center. Now she _really_ felt prepared to venture through the wilderness. And maybe catch some new pokémon to round out her team! A fire type would be nice...

It turned out that she needn't had worried quite so much. Ommy and Arc were more than prepared to take on the weaker pokémon that ventured close to town. Shade was much weaker than them, though, so she let him out for the battles she thought he could handle. The more experience the better, right?

By the time night fell, they had made good progress down the road. Two trainers had challenged her – neither of them at nearly the right level to take her on, as it turned out – and they had only had a few encounters with overzealous wild pokémon. Clara started up a fire well away from the long grass and made some simple stew for dinner. Ommy got three helpings, all of which he gobbled up from his bowl. Arc got a handful of nuts for a treat and a bit of pokémon food, but she had been hunting on and off all day. Shade seemed content with the one bowl she gave him. "Do you like that better?" she asked. It was hard to tell with him, but she thought he did.

The past few nights she had been keeping Arc and Shade in their pokéballs at night – there was only so much space at the Pokémon Center, and Ommy was spoiled and always left out when he could be. Tonight, however, she left Arc out to nest in the tree. Shade curled up near her sleeping bag. It was a nice night, not cold at all with the fire, though she did have to shove Ommy off of her feet. When would he _learn_?

Clara slept quickly and easily. What woke her was the feeling of soft, cool skin wrapped around her wrist. With a start, she realized that it was just Ommy wrapping a tentacle around her arm. He had done it more than once before to silently warn her of some danger. She held still, listened – was that crying?

She sat up as quietly as she could and looked around, but it didn't take long to locate the source. Arc was cooing with a wing held over Shade, who was holding his mask close and weeping. With tears coming from the _mask_.

It was weird.

That was also her pokémon sobbing its heart out.

"Shade?" she whispered, sliding out of her sleeping bag. As soon as she said the word he looked up and startled. "Oh, no, don't run – Shade!"

He didn't go far, only to a tree on the other side of the road. "C'mon, Shade," she said. She crouched down and held a hand out. "I'm not mad at you or anything. I'm just worried. You can cry if you want, but I'm scared because I don't know why. If you're hurt or if I did something wrong, or anything like that. Or did someone hurt you? See, there you go."

Shade had stopped crying and instead stared up at her. Ommy finally caught up with her, the slowpoke, and made chittering noises that were probably meant to be reassuring. (They were actually super creepy to other people, but she was so used to them by now that she found them calming.) She continued to hold her hand out; eventually Shade inched over and took her hand. He even let her pick him up and carry him back to their camp.

Clara had no idea what to do. She sat down cross-legged on her sleeping bag, still holding Shade, and hummed a song that her mother had sung to her and her little sister all the time. Without meaning to she started rocking back and forth, and at some point she managed to lull _herself_ to sleep.

When she woke in the morning with a sore back (from the weird position she had fallen in) and a sore foot (thanks to Ommy), Shade seemed to be much happier. He'd even figured out how to put the leftover stew back on the campfire for breakfast.

~!~

"I have a weird question," Clara said at the next Pokémon Center. It wasn't a very busy place this time of day. The nurse smiled at her.

"It's alright. Believe me, I've probably heard a weirder question today alone."

Clara gave her a nervous smile, but her gaze soon fell to her hands twitching on the counter. "Um. I think there's something wrong with my new pokémon. Not, like, physically, though. Are there, I dunno, pokémon therapists or something?"

"Why do you ask? Here, sit down and tell me about it."

The nurse poured her a cup of tea. Clara took it stared at the steaming liquid. "See, I just traded for this new pokémon. And I like him. He gets along well with the other two I have on me. But the first night I had him out of his pokéball, he started crying and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. He hasn't done that since, but this morning I woke up early and saw him looking really sad."

"There _is_ a specialist I can refer you to, in the next town over, if you need him," the nurse said. "But that might not be necessary. Did you catch your pokémon? He could be missing his home. His family, maybe. Or, if you traded for him, he could feel sad about parting from his old trainer, even if he's excited to be with you."

"I guess it could just be that." Clara sipped at her tea; it was pretty bog-standard. "I thought since it had been a few days, he wouldn't feel that way."

The nurse smiled at her. "He could have been very excited at first, and then as the newness wore off, he might have become a little more nervous. He'll probably feel better soon, especially since he's with a conscientious trainer like you." Clara giggled at the compliment. "But just in case, I can do an examination and make sure that he's not hurt in some way, okay?"

"I'd really appreciate it."

The nurse opened up an intake form on her computer. "You can go ahead and let him out, I'll just be a moment."

"Right!" She set her tea down and reached for the right pokéball. "Come on out, Shade!"

The nurse got a funny look on her face when she turned around to see him, but nevertheless she gave him a thorough exam. Shade bore it with no complaints; Clara was pretty sure she was more anxious about it than he was. When she put him back into his pokéball after it was all over, the nurse sighed.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked you what species he was, first."

"Oh? Is he okay?"

"He's in excellent health. But there's something you should know about Yamasks. Actually, they are known for having a tendency to cry, especially at night."

"...seriously?"

The nurse nodded. "Some people say it's because they used to be human, and those masks they carry remind them of their old lives. But some people think it's because they can hear horrible stories being told to them by spirits. No-one really knows for sure."

"Oh." Clara looked at her pokéball and shuddered.

~!~

A few nights later she woken again while it was still dark out. This time there was no crying, but when she sat up, Shade was staring mournfully at his mask. Clara slid out of her sleeping bag and shivered at the chill, then went to go sit next to him.

"Is it true? What the nurse at the pokémon center said – that you used to be a human?"

Shade's gaze slowly slid from the mask to her face. He didn't say anything – not that she would have understood – but he didn't need to. That steady stare was too knowing. Ommy never looked at her like that, or Arc.

The more she thought about it, the worse it seemed – to not just _die_ , but to also be barred from going to Heaven or the Pure Land or whatever, or even a proper reincarnation. To lose the ability to speak, to interact normally with other people, but still _remember_ being a person, to still know what it was like to cook and talk and sing and work and love. To be captured by a person while knowing what it was like to _be_ a person and given a new name and maybe treated nicely and maybe not.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her throat too choked to say the words any louder. "Shade, I'm _so sorry_. Would it, would it be better if I released you, or took you somewhere, or...?"

Shade shook his head, but her vision was now so blurred by tears that she could barely see the motion. Abruptly she sobbed and curled up in on herself, not able to stop her whirling thoughts. Did Shade still have relatives and friends who were alive? Did he miss them? Had he died peacefully or in a terrible way? Or had he died a long time ago and woken up in a completely new world with no-one to help him adjust? She cried louder and louder, mourning for him, horrified for him.

After some length of time the tears no longer came and her thoughts quieted. Distantly she registered Arc's cooing, Ommy's tentacles wrapped around her bare ankle. Shade was patting her on the head. She giggled at the absurdity; here he was comforting her, even though his situation was the worse one.

"Thanks, you guys," she said with a hoarse voice. She patted Ommy, then gave Arc and Shade a watery smile. Snot was running down her face and her cheeks were sticky with drying tears. She needed to wash her face. "Are you okay with this, Shade?"

Shade glanced at the mask still cradled in his tail, then gave a shrug. Now that Clara had stopped crying and dawn was starting to break over the horizon, he floated over to her backpack and dug out the cooking pan and oatmeal. She watched as he started to prepare breakfast, wondering if there was anything more she could do for him. If she released him, where would he go? There was no guarantee that he wouldn't be captured again by another trainer.

"Are you really okay?" she asked again.

Shade looked up at her and gave his version of a smile before hefting the pan over the dying fire. She wondered if it was true, or just a lie meant to reassure her.

~!~

"Wow," said the girl who had the bed next to her at the Pokémon Center. They were watching their pokémon play together – well, Arc was now snug in her pokéball, and Ommy had already fallen asleep on Clara's pillow, so it was just Shade and a couple of the girl's pokémon. "Your Yamask is so happy. Mine's always moping, I can never seem to cheer him up. How do you do it?"

"It's not much, really." Clara tucked her knees up and rocked back on her covers. "I make sure he eats really well – he likes to help with the cooking, anyway. And I talk with him all the time." She shrugged. "I just treat him like I would a person, I guess."

"Even though he's just a pokémon?" The girl laughed. "Well, maybe I'll try it."

Clara frowned at her, but before she could reply, the nurse called for lights out. Clara sent Shade away – she had asked if he minded going in a pokéball, and he had shaken his head – and tucked herself in. She was careful of how she arranged her head; Ommy had a habit of chewing on her hair sometimes.

Shade didn't cry at night, anymore. She hoped it was because he was happy. Maybe being a pokémon was new and exciting for him. He now had all those cool powers, after all. She hoped it was good for him.


End file.
